Zen and the Art of Meddy's Life

I’d been sleeping on my brother’s couch wondering how long it would take for me to blend in just enough to disappear. It’s funny how you can hold yourself hostage to feelings, camp out until you have talked yourself into an oblivion of self pity. Until one day you realize it’s not serving anyone, not even yourself.

Iv taken up reading books, anything I can get my hands on. Books have a funny way of diverting your attention while at the same time drawing many parallels to your life. It’s kind of therapeutic.

I am currently reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. It’s an interesting book, one I thought might have a more abstract or spiritual tone but so far it’s quite literally describing a man’s journey across the country on his motorcycle, identifying all the issues with the actual engine. It’s funny how the author allows you to draw your own conclusions about what he is trying to convey.

I think for the first time something really clicked for me about the difference between a car ride and a motorcycle trip. A car ride is all about the destination, even in the car you are a passenger watching everything sort of like a movie, everything is passive. It’s about taking the freeways and highways – the fastest route. Whereas, a motorcycle is all about being part of the scenery, taking the quieter scenic roads, it’s less about where your destination actually is but rather the journey of getting there.

I am finding that by trying to rush through some really critical parts of my growth I’ve been somehow missing the point. I am beginning to see why it’s important to find serenity rather than judgment in my shortcomings. That it can be easier to perceive strength as weakness, and that certain situations in life continually arise not merely out of coincidence but because of some larger lesson at hand. That until they can be faced with a fearless honesty it will continually repeat itself. And ultimately, somewhere down the line do me a large disservice.

I know that it’s something about trust, following my conscience and being ok with being misunderstood, disliked or doubted.

Life lessons are really hard to learn. Sometimes I wish they weren't so difficult but then again I think it's only a reminder that life isn't something to be taken so lightly all the time. It's a really precious thing, something to be shared with special people.